You can't always get what you want, You get what you need

 From the famous Rolling Stones song:

No, you can't always get what you want 
No, you can't always get what you want  
No, you can't always get what you want  
But if you try sometime, you just might find  
You get what you need

 I have been thinking about this a lot lately as I watch my kids decide on their futures and try, and sometimes fail at their goals in life.  We have all heard the concept in many different songs and thoughts and quotes.  The bottom line is that sometimes we want something and don't get it, and sometimes we get things we don't want, and more often than not, we may not get what we want, but we get something different.  BUT, we are always blessed, even amidst the storms of life.

I remember in Junior High wanting to be somebody.  I wanted to be a part of Student Council.  When I made my campaign speech, I felt as if everyone in the room was laughing at me.  I felt devastated.  I am not sure if anyone was laughing or not, and it no longer matters, but that feeling stayed with me for life. 

When I got into high school I thought I would try again.  There was this 'exclusive" club called the "Debs".  I really wanted to belong, but didn't get accepted into it.  Now as an adult, I can't figure out why I would ever want to belong to something like that.  In fact, it wasn't even the most popular girls that were in it.  Did it make it worse that they didn't want me?  Of course it did.

As a junior in high school I decided to try out for our drill team.  I remember the night when they came to get my sister because she had made it, and they never came and got me.  Her room was right next to mine, and I heard them whispering how sad it was that I didn't make it, but that she did.  I laid in my bed hoping I had heard wrong and that someone would come get me.  They never did.  I was told I was an alternate, but that didn't help.  I wanted to be on the team.  That summer I got a call that one of the girls had dropped out and I was now on the team.  I was happy, excited, and yet felt robbed.  I didn't get that glory of going to school the next day and everyone knowing that I made it.  Instead, when school started back up, many people came up to me and said, "I thought you didn't make it".  Kind of embarrassing.   But I worked hard to prove I belonged and continued to do so the whole year.  I was nominated most improved at the end of the year.  I could choose to be flattered, or to feel dumb.  I felt both.  but I am grateful for what I almost didn't get.  I may have been the worst on the team to begin with, but it made me work HARD to prove I belonged, even if I did start out as alternate.  I was at least a part of the team!

I had also tried out for Orchesis, our modern dance club, and didn't make it, but I tried again my senior year and did make it.  I also made drill team again, and wanted more than anything to be the Historian.  We actually campaigned within drill team and I lost.  I was given the job of treasurer though.  Consultation prize?  Maybe, but I made the most of it and got to be an officer.  Maybe not what I wanted, but it was what I needed.

Life has been full of goals not met, because something else was given to me.   You can say that it is God's plan, or fate, or how things should be.  I am not sure if it is so, but I do know that it is within OUR power to make the best of each situation we are given, and to be grateful for what we are given even if it is not what we planned.  It is all in the attitude.  Nothing is perfect, but we can view our life as perfect for us, if we accept things for what they are and realize that it is OUR life and we are writing the book, even if the story keeps changing.  We are what we make ourselves.  We can either be disgruntled because we are not the Historian, or we can be happy that we are the Treasurer.  It is our choice.

Life can be hard. We face challenges. We get sick. We miss loved ones. We feel sad.  And sometimes, spiders bite us.

This past week has been a difficult one.  My daughter went on trek and we spent the first couple of days of the week getting ready for that.  Tuesday my husband went out of town for work, so it fell on me to handle the rest of it.  Tuesday night we were scrambling around trying to find small containers of sunscreen.  My daughter was going to take her spray on block, but it wouldn't fit, and then we read about a man who got burned when he caught on fire after spraying it on himself.  It was too late to run to the store.  The camel back my daughter was taking was leaking water.  And to top it off, I bumped my foot, and upon saying OUCH, realized something was horribly wrong with my foot.  My daughter thought a bone was broken and poking from my foot, stretching the skin.  I admit it--I panicked!  After I calmed down, I had my son look at it and he noticed tiny fang marks.  My foot never did turn red, and never did itch, but was swollen.

Wednesday morning I took my daughter to the stake center, and participated in the stake goodbye--in which we lined the street and saved white hankies as the buses drove by, and then I went home and took Benadryl.  And slept.  And woke up and felt sick.  And a little bit.  And felt sick to my stomach again.   And slept.  And repeated that for the rest of the day.  To top it off I missed my daughter.  And I missed my husband.  Put that all together, and it was a pretty bad week.

The point of my story is that sometimes life just sucks.  And sometimes no one is there to comfort us.  but we can always lean on Jesus.  We can imagine his arms around us, loving us, no matter what we do in life or where we are.  He LOVES us.  He is THERE!

The Race

"Quit, give up, you're beaten"
They shout at you and plead
"There's just too much against you
This time you can't succeed".

And as I start to hang my head
In front of failures face
My downward fall is broken by
The memory of a race

And hope refills my weakened will
As I recall that scene
Or just the thought of that short race
Rejuvenates my being

Childrens race, young boys
Young men, how I remember well
Excitement sure, but also fear
It wasn't hard to tell

They all lined up so full of hope
Each thought to win that race
Or tie for first, or if not that
At least take second place

The fathers watched from off the side
Each cheering for his son
And each boy hoped to show his dad
That he could be the one

The whistle blew and off they went
Young hearts and hopes afire
To win and be the hero there
Was each young boys desire

And one boy in particular
Whose dad was in the crowd
Was running near the lead and thought
"My dad will be so proud"

But as they speeded down the field
Across a shallow dip
The little boy who thought to win
Lost his step and slipped

Trying hard to catch himself
With hands flew out to brace
And amid the laughter of the crowd
He fell flat on his face

But as he fell his dad stood up
And showed his anxious face
Which to the boy so clearly said
"Get up and win the race"

He quickly rose, no damage done
Behind a bit that's all
And ran with all his night and mind
To make up for the fall

So anxious to restore himself
To catch up and to win
His mind went faster than his legs
He slipped and fell again

He wised then that he had quit before
With only one disgrace
"I'm hopeless as a runner now
I shouldn't try to race"

But in the laughing crowd he searched
And found his fathers face
That steady look which said again
"Get up and win the race"

So up he jumped to try again
Ten yards behind the last
If I'm going to gain those yards he though
I've got to move real fast

Exerting everything he had
He regained eight or ten
But trying hard to catch the lead
He slipped and fell again

Defeat, he lay there silently
A tear dropped from his eye
There's no sense running anymore
Three strikes, I'm out, why try?

The will to rise had disappeared
All hope had fled away
So far behind so error prone
A loser all the way

"I've lost, so what", he thought
I'll live with my disgrace
But then he thought about his dad
Whom soon he'd have to face

"Get up" the echo sounded low
"Get up" and take your place
You were not meant for failure here
"Get up", and win the race

With borrowed will "Get up" it said
"You haven't lost at all"
For winning is no more than this
To rise each time you fall

So up he rose to run once more
And with a new commit
He resolved, that win or lose
At least he shouldn't quit

So far behind the others now
The most he'd ever been
Still he'd give it all he had
And run as though to win

Three times he'd fallen, stumbling
Three times he'd rose again
Too far behind to hope to win
He still ran to the end

They cheered the winning runner
As he crossed the line first place
Head high and proud and happy
No falling, no disgrace

But when the fallen youngster
Crossed the line, last place
The crowd gave him the greater cheer
For finishing the race

And even though he came in last
With head bent low, unproud
You would have thought he'd won the race
To listen to the crowd

And to his dad he sadly said
"I didn't do too well"
"To me you won", his father said
"You rose each time you fell"

by D. H. Groberg

Alex Boye

Love this guy!  The Orem Institute Choir is also featured.  My kids friend Will is in it!  Awesome song!  Awesome performance.  Awesome spirit!

Prince Charles and the Book of Mormon, by Alex Boye

Prince Charles and the Book of Mormon 
Article in the Desert News, by Alex Boye 
Monday, April 23, 2012 

As a musician, I spend my days promoting my music and my videos, but nothing comes close to the feeling you get when you're promoting your faith. 

I was sitting in Sunday School of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints a few years ago when the ward mission leader walked into class with a stern look on his face. He had a box full of copies of the Book of Mormon and he gave one to each of us, challenging us to give it away this week and come back next week with a report of whom we gave it to. 

My band was on tour that week doing a performance for a charity organization called "The Prince's Trust." Every year at this event, they celebrate the accomplishments of inner-city kids. 

While on tour, there was a loud bang on my door with a patron yelling, "Quick, hurry! Prince Charles wants to meet everyone." 

We thought it was a joke because someone of his position wouldn't necessarily be expected to show up at this event. I looked out the window and saw a helicopter land in the field and Prince Charles got out with his entourage. 

We all dressed and rushed to the reception area to meet Prince Charles. Everybody in England knows what the procedures are when you meet royalty. Women curtsy and men bow, you speak only when spoken to and you don’t extend your hand to royalty unless they extend their's first. We have been taught these things since we were young. 

As I ran downstairs to stand "on ceremony," a thought came to my mind that I should head back upstairs, but I didn't know why. I told the band to go ahead and wait in line and I'd be back. I went to my room and stood there looking around and asking myself, "What now?" Then I saw my copy of the Book of Mormon my ward mission leader gave me. I grabbed it, stuck it in my back pocket and rushed back downstairs. 

There was a long line of cooks, cleaners and celebrities standing on ceremony waiting to be greeted by Prince Charles. While standing in line, I tried to come up with something witty and clever that I could say to Prince Charles so he would never forget me. Finally, he made his way toward me and my mind went blank. My supposed unforgettable comment left my mind. He politely moved on to the next person and my opportunity was missed. 

As he approached the helicopter to leave I had a strong impression that I needed to give Prince Charles the book in my back pocket. I thought to myself, "How could I accomplish this?" He had already moved on and you're not allowed to step out of line until Prince Charles has exited. So I wondered how to grab his attention without being disrespectful. 

I did the first thing that came naturally to me. I waved my hands in the air, screamed for Prince Charles, and stepped out of line. I did it. I had broken three rules. I realized what I had done and stepped back in line, putting my head down in embarrassment. 

With my head still down in shame, two large feet appeared in front of me. I looked up and to my surprise I saw Prince Charles. Gathering my composure, I said, "On behalf of my church I would like to give you a gift." 

As I reached for the book in my back pocket, security went crazy, assuming I was reaching for something more dangerous. I managed to get the book from my pocket and extend my hand to give it to him, breaking a fourth rule. After looking at the book for what seemed like an eternity, he took it. 

He looked at it, brought it close to his chest and said to me that he thought it would prove some interesting reading. 

"Yes it will," I responded. "Perhaps you could read it in the helicopter on your way home." 

He told me that he may just do that. And then he left. 

Reporters bombarded me with questions wanting to know what I gave Prince Charles. I told them it was the Book of Mormon, Another Testament of Jesus Christ, and then began teaching the first discussion on national TV. 

The following Sunday my LDS ward mission leader asked us to report on our Book of Mormon challenge. I told him I gave my copy to Prince Charles. Nobody believed me. 

That night I turned on the TV and saw the footage of me talking about the Book of Mormon. No sooner did my phone start ringing” it was my frantic ward mission leader. I guess he believed me now. 

Who would have thought that someone like me, trying to promote my music, would be standing at the feet of royalty in England promoting my faith? The Lord uses ordinary people to accomplish extraordinary things. Thanks to the challenge of my ward mission leader, I had the courage to stand up for my faith and give a royal gift to royalty.

How many times do we stand up for our Faith?  Do we become afraid or uncertain when the opportunity arises to share our testimony, or our beliefs?  How many times do we actually promote our beliefs?  We must remember that any time we are willing to share, we are planting a tiny mustard seed, that has the opportunity to grow and prosper, therefore sharing with others of our happiness, and extending that same joy to them.   This gospel is a beautiful thing, and the joy I feel while living it is more precious than anything I have ever felt in my life.  I hope I will never brush aside the opportunities I have to share it.  

Faith

I read missionary blogs.  I enjoy the stories and the lessons I learn while reading them.  I recently read a story on one that hit close to home.  I hope the Elder doesn't mind me using his story, but the names are changed, and the Elder doesn't even know me, and it is on a public site, so here goes:

"My companion and i were able to witness a miracle. Last week I mentioned to you guys that our recent converts who got baptized last Sunday got in a bus crash, but I still didn't know the details.The husband told us that his wife and 2 year old son were sitting in the first row (the most dangerous row because there is nothing in front of them to prevent them from flying through the windshield) and ***** was sitting in the last row, with their bags. ***** said that their bus was racing with another bus to pick up more passengers than the other (that is normal in Guatemala). The bus went into the opposite lane to pass when it ran into the back of a semi trailer. ***** said that he felt the bus brake which gave him just enough time to brace him self grabbing on to the luggage rack above his head (which ultimately saved him) After he recovered he immediately moved forward to find his wife and son. He said that as he was walking forward he was seeing the injuries getting worse and worse, and he was just imagining his wife and son completely mutilated. There were people with their legs bent back over their heads, a lady with her eyeball hanging out in her hand, people with head injuries. he got to the front and found his wife and son covered in blood. His wife said don't worry this blood isn't ours it was from the person sitting next to them. His son was completely unscratched, and he wasn't even crying. His wife didn't have a single scratch either. The only thing is that she broke her femur. It is truly a miracle that they are fine. And they still need to receive the holy ghost (confirmed?). I remember praying for them to be protected in their journey, and god listened to our prayers. ***** and his son were the only 2 people that left the accident unharmed. The other part of the miracle is that He has health insurance and they got married in the nick of time, so that his wife can also benefit from that. They wanted to wait more time to get married but they acted with faith."

This is a perfect example of faith and of the Lord being with us.  They had faith to get baptized, faith to get married, and faith in the Lord.  He watched over them.

Blessings are hidden within our trials, but it sure doesn't seem that way....

Recently I have run across several blogs of people who have had major speed bumps in their lives, usually of a physical kind.  One such blog is Bridgett's Bike Wreck .  This poor girl was riding her bike in South Orem on December 14th, 2011, when she was hit by a truck and suffered sever injuries.  At the time of her accident, we were preparing to bring our daughter home from her mission.  We were anticipating a wonderful reunion, and they were praying for their daughter's life.  It puts things in perspective and makes you really count your blessings.  It also reminds me of how fragile life is and how the little things in life seem so huge at the time, but in reality, they are so small.  We have disappointments, we have trials, things never seem to go right, and yet, we must remember that our trials are ours, and that we can handle them.  Our trials make us stronger.  They teach us to be compassionate.  They humble us.  When we are humble, we are teachable.

One thing I learned this morning from Bridgett's blog is that I need to make sure I am a compassionate driver.  We never know what is going on in the lives of the people in the cars around us.  We don't know what they are going through.  We don't know the reasons they make the choices they do.  In Bridgett's blog, I read the following: " Going in and out of the apartment complex is always painful--especially hitting the bumps when we cross the gutters.  I put my blinker on and slow way down and most people pass us.  I take the bumps slowly and at an angle to hopefully help them be less bumpy. Everywhere I drive, I try to be mindful of the bumps and avoid them if possible.  I know when people are driving behind me and I slow down around corners (because of the gutters or whatever)or when there are bumps they are probably annoyed.  So the next time you are annoyed about somebody's  driving, maybe they have a passenger (or even themselves) that has had a neck or back injury and they are doing the best they can. Just a thought."  Wow JUST a thought?  No, it is a lesson for me to learn, to be a better person.

Another blog I have been reading is that of a missionary in Brazil who was hit by a bus. Elder Britten Schenk sustained serious injuries on March 16th of this year.  Having my own missionaries, one of which escaped injury when hit by a big truck while on his bike during the first part of his mission, this hits really close to home for me.  Elder Schenk is also in our prayers, and an inspiration to all.  for example, he  "raised his arm for one of the sustaining votes during conference".

On facebook this morning I saw one of those funny quotes (not so funny IMO) It said, "One does not simply stay awake for every session of conference".   Well, YES, they do.  I DO.  I make myself.  I take notes, I really listen and I apply it to my life.  I have too far to go to fall asleep during this IMPORTANT weekend of instruction.  As I was reading Bridgett's blog, I was impressed that she made listening to conference a priority and according to her blog," instead of napping (like usual!) she wanted to watch conference (yeah!).  She sat on the couch, where she usually lays down.  After a while Mark asked her why she was sitting instead of laying down and she said so I don't fall asleep!"  If she can stay awake, I most certainly can!

Conference was great.  At the suggestion of Kiana, I wrote a list of questions I wanted answered during conference and guess what?  All of them were answered. Now I just need to apply them and work on what I was taught.   I think I have a LOT to work on for the next 6 months!

Wow, my first tag

11 things about me:

1. I love being a mom, even though it is one of the hardest things at times.

2.  I hate seeing people hurt, especially my kids, and especially emotionally

3. Yellow is my favorite color

4. I love Cocker Spaniels

5. I love scrapbooking

6.  I never feel like I am done--always feel like there is something I have to do

7.  I love driving off in our motorhome, no matter where we are going, just so we are going

8. I clean house for a living, or maybe,  that is, I am living for a clean house

9.  I really don't mind cleaning house for a living.  I psychoanalyze it....therefore, my education does not go to waste (Social Psychology Major)

10. I have a new hobby of listening to police scanners on my IPOD touch at night

11.  I have been happily married for 29 years, to the same man--the man I plan to spend eternity with

So I guess the person doing the tagging gets to make up the questions for those they tag.  Thanks Kiana :)

Questions for the tagged:

1. What is your biggest fear?  Heights
2.  Who do you love?  My best friend, hubby, the love of my life, even when he snores so loud that I cannot sleep
3. If you could do one thing, regardless of cost, what would you do?  take my kids all on a cruise
4. What is your favorite type of clothing? jammies
5. What is your greatest strength? the Gospel, and my testimony of it.  Without it, there would be no purpose.
6. How do you want to be remembered?  willing to serve--working hard on this one
7. What do you like in a girl/guy? sense of humor, makes me laugh
8. If you could hang out with a celebrity for a day, who would it be? Johnny Depp, duh
9. What do you want to be when you grow up? a grandma
10. What do you want the most? for my kids to be happy
11. What is something you will never forget? the birth of my children

I am not sure how one tags on blogspot.  I guess here goes nothing.  I am tagging Kiana Lyn , Camilee Copus,  Karen Decker, Lynne Bronson, Destinee Park

Here are your questions:

1. What is your favorite book of all time?

2. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

3. What TV show are you embarrassed to admit you watch?

4. What is your favorite quote?

5. What inspires you?

6. What is a favorite tradition from your childhood that you want to pass on?

7. What would your dream vacation be?

8. What is your favorite place you have been able to visit?

9. If a movie was made of your life, what actress would you want to play you?

10. Who was your first crush on?

11. What are three things you cannot live without?

This guy is amazing. I heard a comment the other day from someone that said if a person lost all capabilities or use of their body, what is there to live for. This PROVES that there is always something to live for. It proves that Heavenly Father has a plan for us, and that there are many ways we can LIVE our lives.

The Fellowship of the Unashamed

The Fellowship of the Unashamed

I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The dye has been cast! I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made; I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tainted visions, worldly talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need pre-eminence, positions, promotions, plaudits or popularity. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with patience, am uplifted by prayer, and labor with power. My face is set, my gait is fast, and my goal is Heaven. My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my guide is reliable, my mission is clear! I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, divided or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won't give up, shut up, or let up, until I have stayed up stored up, and paid up of the cause of Christ. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till I know, and work till He stops me. And when He returns for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner will be clear.
Henry b. Eyring

We had an awesome recently returned missionary talk today.  He quoted this at the end of his talk.  He seemed to have it memorized!  Way to go Elder Jensen!  It is obvious you were a great missionary!

Valenitnes Day

A friend of mine blogged about her Valentines Day activities.  I started thinking about why I hadn't done that?  After all, this does serve as my journal most of the time.

I usually do a nice Italian theme dinner with lasagne, pasta, garlic bread, or that sort of thing.  I make Raspberry Cheesecake, or cookies, or some other yummy treat.  I get sparkling cider, and set the table with a table cloth, candles, confetti hearts strew all over, etc.  you get the picture.  I also have these red plastic goblets that I bought years ago that I fill with various pink and red themed treats. 

This year I planned crock pot lasagna, home made pizza, cake balls, chocolate dipped strawberries, and again filled the goblets and bought everyone a dragon fruit vitamin water.  It was all planned out.  And then plans began to fall apart.  My oldest daughter made plans to go out with friends.  My youngest wanted to spend time with her friends.  So that leaves hubby and I for a nice romantic evening all by ourselves.  Okay, I couldn't complain about that, could I?

Valentines Day came and I thought I would try to let hubby sleep in a bit.  At 7:30 the sound of his phone going off filled the house.  He got off and I went to see who had woke him.  I asked if someone was calling to see why he wasn't at work yet. (he owns his own business so he doesn't have hours set in concrete most days, but usually does have many hours to put in a day).  He said, worse, I have to go to Idaho.  He hurried and packed and I ran to get his bag of Valentine Peanut M & M's to throw in his bag.  And off he went.

Usually I don't mind being alone.  I love it during the day time because it is easier to get stuff done.  BUT, at night it can get lonely, and even more so when the love of your life is in another state.  I should be used to it.  I knew what I was getting when I got married.  I knew there would be many days and nights with him working out of town.  I also knew he would be a good provider and had a great work ethic.  I knew he would take care of us.  I do think this is the very first Valentines Day in my life that I have been alone though.  I was sad, felt sorry for myself, but in the end, I have to be thankful because there are people who are alone a lot more days than I am. Oh yeah, I ate lasagna, pizza, strawberries, cake balls and watched tv.  And I remembered the love I have for my family.

Pinterest

Just when I thought I was on the right track, I discovered Pinterest.  Okay, I didn't seek it out--people kept inviting and enticing me.  It is my own personal bulletin board, but even more so, I look at it as my electronic assistant, scrapbook, journal, cookbook, and dream journal all wrapped up in one place!  So cool!

Catching up

It has been a LONG time since I blogged.  December 15th, Destinee came home from Guatemala.  Things have just been busy since then.  It is nice having her home, and she adjusted well.  She was rehired at her job at Cinemark, and today she met with her college counselor to go over her graduation requirements.  She has 3 semesters left.

Kade will come home on May 29th.  Now it is time for me to paint and fix up his bedroom.

Tyler graduates with his Masters in Physics in August.  He has been applying for some jobs, and who knows where his life will now take him.

Kiana will be a senior next year, and then head off to college.  I am not sure where she will end up, but she would like to live away from home.  It is my hope that she will at least stay here for one year.

I am thinking today that it is time to change my blog name.  It was fitting when I was the missionary mom of two, but now I am "a very blessed mom of 4".