Truly Blessed

A friend of mine from high school is currently in India with a group to train and teach life skills.  Every day she graces us with a piece of her adventures.  Now you would have to know her, but she is the sweetest person in the world, and her heart is so big.  She has dealt with her own life issues, losing her husband at an early age to cancer and raising her young children all by herself.  But she didn't feel sorry for herself, she gave back.  And gave back, and gave back. 

Today she wrote about teaching young children to wash their hands and brush their teeth, and looked up to see their mothers standing in pouring rain, pressed up against the doorway, straining to hear every word.  Every mother wants what is best for their child, and yet in so many places in the world, they are limited.

I have been thinking about what I have and what others don't have the past couple of days.  Destinee's companion had this picture of their shower on her blog, and I couldn't help but be proud of her for being willing to serve in Guatemala despite the trials, and the health issues she had before and during her mission.  She loves those people, and she loves the Lord enough.

I have also thought a lot lately about individual trials, and how my kids have handled them.  A year ago we were experiencing one of those trials.  My husband went in for hip surgery and we thought it would be like his first one.  It was not.  He didn't handle any of the medication well, and despite being totally incoherent and having an allergic reaction, they made us take him home.  He was throwing up, couldn't stand well, dizzy and pretty sick.  I wish I had known then to fight harder.  I told them to keep him and they said no.  I complied.

When we got him home, he got worse.  I spent every day and night wondering if I would lose my husband to stupid medications.  They were things he needed like blood thinners, antibiotics, etc.  He couldn't keep anything down, couldn't get out of bed, and was covered from head to toe in rashes.  I felt so alone--except for the wonderful home health care.  It is probably my own fault because I am not one to "need" anything and can "do" everything by myself  But I did learn a few things during that trial.  I learned that sometimes things happen and we need to rely totally upon the Lord, and sometimes His angels.  I learned that sometimes people just need to know that they are not alone.  And in my darkest hour, I was once again reminded that there is always light, even if it doesn't come when we expect it or in the way we want it to.

Our trials are nothing compared to those out in the world, and we are truly a blessed people, but it doesn't make it any easier.  The Atonement was for us, and our life lessons are for us, and we need to take those trials and turn them into something good like my friend has.  I am thankful for her example, and for her JOY in life.  Yes, I am truly blessed.

Third time’s the charm

I don't know how I got to this article tonight but it involves a mission to Guatemala and then a mission to the Anaheim Spanish Speaking mission.  I truly believe the Lord directed me to it.

Third time’s the charm

Thursday, 22 January 2009

graphic by Kathleen Majdali “Dear Elder Kaimikaua, you are hereby called to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the…” was Trevor Kaimikaua’s third time reading a mission call. The former freshman at BYU-Hawaii who is from Makakilo got his first mission call in 2006, another in 2007, and now in 2008, he has received a third mission call. In 2006, Kaimikaua received his mission call to serve in the Guatemala City North Mission and was to report to the Guatemala MTC on Nov. 22. Excited by the call, his parents called friends and family to gather together to share in their sons’ special. “I was excited for him and his parents because he’s an only child and the only grandson on his father’s side,” said Leiha Enos, cousin of Elder Kaimikaua from Makakilo. Before heading to the Guatemala MTC, family, friends, and ward members gathered together at the Honolulu airport to see Elder Kaimikaua off on his mission. “I felt sad that he was leaving because he’s my only cousin on my mom’s side. I was sad that I wouldn’t see him for two years,” recalled Kalei Hoa Paceho. However, Sisylina Peterson, a close family-friend to the Kaimikauas’, recalled the moment when the phone rang with some surprising news about the new missionary. “My Aunty Chauna answered the phone. She stood there for a moment silent then hung up the phone. She turned to me and said that Trevor is flying in tomorrow morning,” said Peterson. After only one week on his mission, Elder Kaimikaua returned home. “I felt that I had to take care of some personal things before I could continue my mission,” said Elder Kaimikaua “My mission president asked if I wanted to do it in the MTC, but I felt like I should just return home and handle it.” Kevin Kaimikaua, his father, said, “I didn’t know what to think when I got a phone call from my son and his mission president saying he would be returning home. I love my son and support him in anything decision he makes.” In mid-2007, several months after returning home, Elder Kaimikaua re-submitted his mission papers. “I got my mission call about three weeks after I submitted it. I was called to the same mission, Guatemala City North Mission,” said Elder K. “This time I was to report to the MTC in Utah.” Elder Kaimikaua reported to the Provo MTC and stayed there for two months before heading to Guatemala. “The second time around, he was enjoying his mission and fell in love with the people. I could see in his letters that his testimony was growing each and every day,” said LeiAnn Kaimikaua, Elder Kaimikaua’s mother. Stevie Yates, one of Elder Kaimikaua’s friends, said, “On Mother’s Day he called my house because his whole family was there for a Mother’s Day dinner we put on. Everyone there got to talk to him.” But Yates added that on the Wednesday after Mother’s Day, Elder Kaimikaua’s father called saying Trevor would be coming home the next morning. “I was shocked by the news that he was coming home again,” said Howard Vinhasa, one of Kaimikaua’s cousin. “At least this time he was in the field for 11 months.” One of Elder K’s best friends, Jared Faumuina, explained what caused the missionary to return home a second time: “When on the mission, Elder Kaimikaua found a lump. He told his mission president about it and they went to the doctors to check things out. The results came back that it was a tumor, but the doctor didn’t know if it was cancerous or not.” So Elder Kaimikaua returned home in Summer 2008 due to medical reasons. “I was so mad that I had to go home,” he said. “I wish I could have done it up there, but my mission president wanted me to check things out at home with the support from family and friends.” “A couple of days later after seeing the doctor, I had surgery to remove the tumor. The doctor still had to find out if it was cancer,” he continued. “The doctor called me back in along with my parents. He told us it was cancer.” After finding out it was cancer, Kaimikaua’s family called their bishopric of their home ward. The second counselor, Sapena Faumuina, asked the ward family to do a 24-hour fast in Elder Kaimikaua’s behalf, four days before he was to start his chemotherapy. “I was touched when the room was full of not just ward members, but family members from all around the island and members from the stake. His friends were all there and all helped with the program in some way,” said Clarence Piena, his uncle. “The spirit was so strong after we closed the meeting.” Davin Kane, a distant family member said, “It was nice to see all those people there willing the give up three meals. That shows the love we all have for Trevor.” After an intense three months of chemotherapy, Elder Kaimikaua was expected to fully recover. “I wasn’t sure if I would be able to return on a mission, but my mission president always kept in touch through this whole ordeal,” said Elder Kaimikaua. After losing 20 pounds and his hair, his mother describes the changes she could see in her son: “I could see that he was gaining his appetite back and his hair was starting to grow back little by little.” She also added, “We weren’t sure what was in store in his future so he decided to apply to school [at BYU-Hawaii] just in case.” Elder Kaimikaua said, “I told myself when I was applying for school that whatever call came back to me first, I would do. So if I got accepted into school then I’ll go to school. But if I got my mission call first, and then I’d go back on a mission and finish my two years.” Kaimikaua added, “I got my mission call this past weekend and I leave in a week. I got called to serve in the Anaheim, California-Spanish speaking Mission. So I leave on Monday, Nov. 17. I’m going to serve for 13 months, the remainder of what’s left on my mission.”

The modesty issue--leggings

UGH!  Once again the subject of modesty is getting debated.  I just read an article on leggings and if they are modest or not.  IMO if all you are wearing is a pair of leggins, you probably are immodest.  First, if you are a female, it is immodest to go topless.  Secondly, if you are male, well, it is probably immodest to wear leggings anywhere.

One comment that I enjoyed was "If all you have to do in your life is look and judge what others are wearing, then holy cow! "You must be one of the lucky few on this earth." Life is too short and there are so many more important things too worry about in life than leggings, with or without a knee length dress. Styles and trends come and go so fast as does youth. "Teach a man correct principles and let him govern himself" Joseph Smith. I also think that youth today need more adults to be advocates for them than judges of them."

I wish the people in my daughter's life were advocates of Joseph Smith's advice--to teach correct principles and let people govern themselves.  So many people here in the "bubble" (new term I learned from comments describing Utah) worry more about rules than they do about missionary work.  If you want to share the Gospel, teach the Gospel, and help a young man or lady to feel the Spirit, you focus on teaching them, rather than judging them.  If you get them to FEEL the Spirit, to have a testimony, THEN they will govern themselves and learn the principles.  BUT, if you impose rules, you will get rebellion, and the principles may never be taught, and you might lose a member.

We have a few kids in our ward who have fallen by the wayside, or chose to not attend Church in our ward or go to YM/YWs because of the rules implemented.  Twice my daughter has been told to not wear shorts or capris, and if she chose to, she was not welcome.  I can't imagine either of my missionaries telling a new convert this.  I feel as if I am in a constant spiritual struggle with some members who care more about "rules" than they do about my daughter's salvation.  Everything she learns about the Gospel has to come from home, because she has so many forces against her in the place she should feel the Spirit.

Anyway, enough of my rant and back to the leggings.  Why would leggings be immodest?  THEY COVER UP FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!  So, a T-shirt is immodest because it sometimes is used to cover up areas another shirt does not cover???  It is all so ridiculous to me.

I like what one woman said: "If we are critical about their appearance, rather than welcoming, we might hurt their feelings and drive them away. I'm always so happy to see folks at church that I don't worry too much about what they're wearing."

Happy 4th of July

Life is funny.  Last year at this time I thought my heart would never stop hurting.  Destinee and Kade left on their missions, Tyler was getting ready to move out, and Kiana had girls camp for a week.  I remember being all  by myself for that week and thinking about what it would be like when my kids were all grown and gone.  It will be different.  A lot of my friends are now empty nesters.  They love it.  I sometimes wonder why.  I gave up everything to be a mom.  I quit school, gave up a career, and gave my life over to them.  I don't regret one single moment.  They have never disappointed me.  I am sure I have made plenty of mistakes in raising them, but they are my life.

Today I feel very thankful that I live in the place I do.  I am thankful for the freedoms I have.  I am thankful that I did have a choice of religion, and that I did end up at BYU, and did finally read the Book of Mormon.  I am thankful that I do have a testimony.  I wonder what my life would have been like if I had a testimony in high school and had taken Seminary.  I would have been so much further in my spiritual progression! And as much as I wanted to get out of Utah when I was younger, I am so thankful for my ancestors and their choices that placed me here.  I love where I live now.

Today is missionary email day, at least it will be for Destinee.  I am not sure if Kade will have P-day today, but I am guessing he will.  He does email from the Apple Store, so maybe I will hear from him too.  I love Mondays.  I love hearing form my kids and having that connection for just a tiny bit of time each week.  I love reading my facebook on Monday too and seeing all of the wonderful posts from my high school friends about their missionaries.  I also love to share a bit of "missionary spirit" on my facebook for those friends and family who are not members, or who are not active members, or even for those who have recently become active.

We are doing a new thing for the 4th today.  We are having Greek food.  With my parents and sister's family in Hawaii, we decided to do our own thing.  Tyler wanted to cook Greek food, so we are going with that.  We have decided that we are making a new tradition, Ethnic Day.  It may be on the 24th in the coming years, but will include the different dishes my kids have learned on their missions, or in language studies.  Tyler had Greek food in Germany, and I am sure next year Destinee or Kade will want to contribute something from their missions.  Destinee already has learned a few different cuisines.  It will be a good day.

Happy 4th, and HAPPY MISSIONARY MONDAY!

"it's just clothes after all!!"

"it's just clothes after all!!"  I just read this on a missionary blog about investigators who didn't make it into the Church building because of what they were wearing.  In the Gospel of JESUS CHRIST, when did what we wear keep a person from attending meetings?  When did clothing become more important than the worth of souls?

Studying Preach My Gospel

my missionary son has been studying Preach My Gospel, chapter 6, Developing Christlike Attributes.  I decided to also study it.

"Christlike attributes are gifts from God. They come as you use your agency righteously.
Ask your Heavenly Father to bless you with these attributes; you cannot develop them
without His help. With a desire to please God, recognize your weaknesses and be willing
and anxious to improve."

I love how we are told that they are GIFTS from God, and that they come as we use our AGENCY.  If we want the present given to us, we must be willing to receive it.

Happy One Year Anniversary!!

A year ago today, we packed up the car with suitcases, the family, and two missionaries.  What a wonderful year it has been!!!  I miss them terribly, but I am also happy they are where they are, doing what they are doing.  I wouldn't have it any other way!!

how appropriate

I have been thinking about Easter all week.  I kept feeling that I was missing something and thought maybe it was because 3 of my kids would not be waking up to Easter candy and coloring eggs.  I had been studying the Saviors life and Resurrection all week, studying conference talks, scriptures, youtube videos, and really thought I understood it all.  Of course, just when we think it is all going good, something happens to humble us.

I was ready for Church on time, walking out the door, all ready to be spiritually fed.  I always look forward to Church.  There was a time when I dreaded the thought of going, and only went because it was the right thing to do.  Now I love going.  I love Sunday School.  I love the Sacrament talks.  I love Fast and testimony meeting.  I love Relief Society.  I enjoy every meeting.  I love the feeling I have when it is finished, like a renewal of Spirit.

Needless to say, I never made it to the car.  I fell out my front door, right on my butt, skirt flying up, scraping and twisting arms, twisting an ankle and foot.  My foot immediately swelled, and I couldn't stand on it.  Once I got in the house, ice bags were placed on it, they propped it up, and Kiana stayed home with me in case I needed to run to the after hours clinic.  Drue headed off to Church, because he was being called as A Primary teacher. 

I sat for 3 hours, with ice on my foot and ankle, feeling lousy and depressed.  Why would this happen before Church?  Why me?  What did I need to learn?  As I pondered the meaning of Easter I realized that although I had focused my attention and studies on the Resurrection, I had not truly considered the Atonement.  My pain was His pain.  My humiliation was His humiliation.  My Joy is because of Him.  he takes my sorrow upon Himself.  How can I ever be like Him?

I hurt today.  I know He hurts today too--for me.

And my baby is 16

How did time pass so quickly?  Yesterday Kiana turned 16.  It has been a rollercoaster type of month.  Not everything she dreamed for came to pass, but at least she tried.  The important thing in life is that we try.  I wish for her that she knew the extent of her greatness, and yet, if she did she might not have the simple humility that makes her so compassionate.  I keep thinking of that song, "I Hope You Dance".  I hope that every heartbreak turns into determination.

So today, for Kiana:

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

Only one teen left....

Yesterday was Kade's 20th birthday.  I miss that kid!  Yes, I thought of him all day long.

I remember 20 years ago when he was in the NICU, a big 9 lb baby amongst the preemies.  He developed a respiratory infection sometime during his birth.  It took 4 days for them to figure out what was wrong and for him to finally be well enough to come home.  Holding him was difficult.  He had tubes and wires attached to his body and would rip the IV out of his arm, so they had to put it in his head.  Looking at him then, I never dreamed that 20 years later he would be a strong 6 ft 2 or 3 missionary.

Happy birthday Kade!!!

2 days until hump day for Destinee

I can't believe it has actually been almost 9 months since my kids left  their missions.  That means one thing--HUMP DAY for Destinee.  It will be Saturday.  Now the countdown begins.  I miss those kids, but I am so blessed to have one at home to keep me smiling.  I know it is where they should be, where I want them to be, and I sometimes wonder what life would have been like if they hadn't gone.  We would have progressed as far?  Would Destinee be heading towards marriage?  Would Kade be on the wrong path?  Thank goodness we will never know.

Getting closer to the Savior

In reading missionary blogs, I came across an account of Elder speaking at a Stake conference.  He spoke of his handicapped son asking if he and his wife knew Jesus.  He focused his talk on that subject.  He said there are4 ways to get closer to the Savior, to come to know Him, and base our life on Him.  They are:

1.  Seek the companionship of the Holy Ghost
2.  Nurture testimony of Christ by daily scripture study and meaningful prayer.
3.  Keep the commandments
4.  Follow the Prophet.

The missionary went on to say that 'he said something very interesting about following the prophet that I'm still trying to fathom. he said, "When we follow the prophet, we learn what is expected of us.'

Good Things to Come

BYU's Chris Collinsworth had angels on his left and right sides

Six months into his mission in Australia, Elder Chris Collinsworth was headed home with his companion, Elder David Ferguson, out about 18 months, after their last appointment of the day. The two were on what is called “splits” or "exchanges," working with someone who is not your regular companion.
It was about 8:45 p.m., and they thought nothing of the two men who approached. They even stepped off the sidewalk to let the men pass. As they did so, without provocation, one of the men reared back and landed a punch to Chris’ head that sent him reeling. When he struck a second blow, Chris, no slouch and currently a 6-foot-9 power forward on the BYU basketball team, fought back. The second stranger attacked Elder Ferguson. He used both his fists and a knife but fled in the face of Ferguson’s ferocious defense. Several other men quickly joined the attack on Chris, pulling his shirt over his head, driving him to the ground, and kicking and punching him.
The man with the knife returned to join the fray. Elder Ferguson sprang to pull attackers off Chris, taking his share of blows. One car approached, but the driver simply swerved to the other side of the road and drove on. A second car did the same. A third driver, a Sudanese refugee, pulled up, began to honk his horn, flash his lights and yell. The attackers finally fled.
The attack was well-covered in the media when it happened back in 2008. Chris sat in my office in December and related information about the attack that few have heard. When Chris was set apart and given a blessing, as all missionaries are, his stake president stated there would be a point in his mission when there would be “angels on your right hand and angels on your left hand protecting you.” A big, strong 19-year-old, Chris thought little of the promise at that time.
In Australia, once before with his regular companion, they were surrounded by a group of Middle Eastern emigrants who began pushing and shoving them. When one of them punched Chris, an older Middle Eastern man, observing from a bench, yelled at the young men to leave the missionaries alone, and they managed to escape harm. Afterward Chris asked his companion what he would do if attacked. He said he would run.
However, on this occasion, Chris was with Elder Ferguson who jumped to his defense. After the attackers fled, Chris described “blood everywhere.” Elder Ferguson’s hands were severely cut trying to fend off the knife attack. Chris explained, “It looked like the Blue Man Group only red everywhere.” Chris wrapped his tie around Elder Ferguson’s hand to help stop the bleeding, and when the ambulance arrived, he directed help to Elder Ferguson. He only rode in the ambulance so the two could stay together. However, at the hospital, trying to exit the ambulance, Chris collapsed, unable to walk. Taken inside in a wheelchair, he asked to use the phone to call the mission president. The nurses strangely refused. Then a “code red” went out over the loudspeaker, calling emergency room personnel to respond to a stab wound to the kidneys, a dangerous, life-threatening injury. Doctors and nurses left Elder Ferguson’s room and descended on Chris.
At some point in the melee he was stabbed in the back. In shock, with adrenalin flowing, his muscles tightened. Only after Chris had a shot of morphine did blood begin to flow from the puncture. When checked, miraculously, the knife missed his kidney by less than a centimeter. Chris was also able to make that call to his mission president. One of the paramedics was an LDS Church member who lent his cell phone, and when the mission president arrived blessings were administered. Chris estimated that for about 20 seconds his attackers were kicking him full force in the face and head. He stayed in the hospital overnight for observation, but left the next day with no bruises, no concussion, no lasting pain or injuries.
Meanwhile, a specialist was called to attend to Elder Ferguson’s wounds. Anticipating extensive damage to ligaments and tendons in his hands the doctor scheduled surgery the next day. In surgery he was amazed. There was no real damage to the ligaments or tendons, and Elder Ferguson was sewn up and able to recover on his own, although, as Chris explained, “He’s got way better scars. You can barely see mine.”
When the mission president returned, some days later, with the missionaries to the scene of the attack, he recounted to Chris the spiritual intuitions that accompanied the visit. He testified that during the attack “angels were on your left hand and on your right hand, watching over you.” Chris had never recounted to his mission president the blessing pronounced upon him when he was set apart.
So now you have, “the rest of the story.”  Author: Kristine Frederickson : LDS World

Happy Birthday Hermana Park

There are a few days of a Missionary Mom's life that are hard to bear.  First is the day we drop our kids off at the MTC.  It is one of the hardest days of our lives.  You think Kindergarten is hard?  Try dropping off your baby for two whole years!  The second day might be Christmas, but for me it is their birthdays.  Tomorrow will be the first birthday Destinee has spent away from home, and the first birthday I have missed being with her.

I have to think a little about the past 22 years.  Destinee was always preparing for a mission.  I have always said that there is some guy out there who is very lucky because whomever she marries will have the wife it takes to become a General Authority.  Behind every great man is an even greater woman.  Destinee has always done what is right.  She has always made good choices, and has always loved the Gospel.  She has always been worthy.  What a great example that young lady has been to me and others.

22 years ago I was in the hospital, urging her to come out and meet the world.  Just after midnight, at 12:28 am, she entered this world, determined to make it a better world.  What a glorious day that was!

Missionary Moment: I Really Miss My Mom

Missionary Moment: I Really Miss My Mom   By Mark Albright

This is a contribution from the files of President Mark Albright of the Washington DC South Mission. (It was published in Meridian Magazine)
It was a bitterly cold December day in 2009. Elder Curt Anderson, a missionary from the Washington DC stake who was serving in the Manchester England Mission, decided to go with his companion to the Bolton shopping district to try and find people to teach.  Busy with pre-Christmas holiday shopping, person after person passed by the two, but no one was willing to stop and listen to their message. Elder Anderson and his companion were getting very discouraged when Christine Rohkele, an African woman who had moved to England in 2004, rounded the corner and headed for a store. As the elders approached her, she gave them a glare that said, “I know you’re trying to sell me something–-but whatever it is, I’m not interested.”
As she brushed by them, Elder Anderson blurted out, “Well, can I just say one thing?” She stopped, turned to him and said impatiently, “I really don’t have time, but go on then.”
Now that he had her attention, thoughts quickly raced through Anderson’s mind of all the possible things he could say that might get her to listen for a few minutes. While she stood impatiently waiting, the words came to him and he suddenly blurted out: “I want you to know that I REALLY MISS MY MOM!”
All of a sudden, she stared intently at this young man and realized that, like her, he was far away from home. Before his eyes, the woman’s face transformed from agitated to emotional. She then explained that she hadn’t seen her own mother in more than 12 years because she had died in a car accident and, in spite of all the time that had passed, the memories of that were still really painful.
Elder Anderson then felt inspired to bear a personal witness to her of why he had left his own mother behind to come here to talk to people like her about the Plan of Salvation, the restoration of the gospel and the Book of Mormon, concluding with an invitation to attend Church the following Sunday.
To his surprise, when Sunday came, Christine walked into the chapel, followed by her two little boys, dressed in their Sunday best. After the service, the elders asked her how she had felt. She responded, enthusiastically, “I’m home. This is where I belong!” Baptized seven weeks later, she then began preparing to go to the temple. Because of the gospel, she knew that she would see her mother again.
Since then, Christine began raising her boys in the church and the oldest one was baptized. Church members helped her find a different job that allowed her to partake of the sacrament each week and still support her family. She has given the church many referrals that have been sent back to the missionaries in serving in her homeland in Africa.  She helps the sister missionaries in the ward fellowship people and plays an active role in the Relief Society each week. She is truly converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ–all because Elder Anderson felt inspired to share his honest, yet heartfelt longing for home.